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How to tell you’re a nerd: Method 70
When the Kinect was first announced for the XBox 360, this scene from Back to the Future: Part II immediately came to mind. Tagged: alternate universe, Back to the Future, Back to the Future Part 2,...
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How to tell you’re a nerd: Method 71
An ex-girlfriend bought you a Star Trek T-shirt as a birthday present that was made to resemble Captain Kirk’s uniform from the original series. She then proceeded to tell you, “Ya know, now that I see...
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How to tell you’re a nerd: Method 73
You consider yourself a browncoat… and you believe that the best thing about Transformers: Dark of the Moon was Alan Tudyk. Tagged: Alan Tudyk, browncoats, comedy, film, Firefly, funny, How to tell...
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How to tell you’re a nerd: Method 76
Before going into an interview for a public library position, you mentally recited “The Litany Against Fear” from Frank Herbert’s Dune novels, in order to focus yourself. Tagged: books, comedy, Dune,...
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In an alternate universe: Event 5
In an alternate universe, the first man who ever rose up to declare, “God has decreed that I should become your ruler and be called a king,” was considered by most people to be out of his mind....
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How to tell you’re a nerd: Method 78
You have gotten into multiple arguments over the years regarding Star Wars, in which you have stressed the disregard for the laws of physics evident in the technology depicted in the films, as well as...
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In an alternate universe: Event 6
In an alternate universe, politicians in the United States are elected through competition in a specialized academic decathlon, followed by a Medievil-style melee complete with swords. Tagged: academic...
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How to tell you’re a nerd: Method 81
The main reason you watch the Syfy original series Haven is to catch Stephen King multiverse Easter eggs (hidden references), secretly hoping for as many Dark Tower references as possible. You also...
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How to tell you’re a nerd: Method 85
While doing work at home, you realize that you have been silently mouthing entire scenes of dialogue from Terminator 2: Judgment Day, which is playing on a television in the next room. Tagged: arnold...
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How to tell you’re a nerd: Method 87
Your oldest friend posts a message on a social media site concerning the prevention of their credit card’s fraudulent use in Ecuador by some unknown brigand, thanks to successful identity theft...
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How to tell you’re a nerd: Method 89
Your first instinct when trying to offer condolescences to someone suffering a personal loss is to point out the following: “If you stop to think about it, the person you miss is actually alive, well,...
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How to tell you’re a nerd: Method 91
Your idea of turning to a “self-help” book is to read a Kurt Vonnegut novel, the validity of which is exemplified from the following line taken from his novel, Cat’s Cradle: “Live by the harmless...
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How to tell you’re a nerd: Method 92
Not only does your idea of a “fun Thursday night” consist of pizza and streaming episodes of the 1970s horror/ science fiction television series Night Gallery on HULU, but the nearly uncontrollable...
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In an alternate universe: Event 7
In an alternate universe, you did not find the movie trailer for the Footloose remake downright horrible, yet tragically funny because it was never made in the first place. Instead, the money was used...
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In an alternate universe: Event 17 (or “Hey, kid… read the fine print.”)
In an alternate universe, the much-beloved story, Yes, Virginia, There Is a Santa Claus, which was Francis P. Church’s response to a girl’s 1897 query to the The New York Sun concerning the existence...
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In an alternate universe: Event 19 (or “Less carbonite required”)
In an alternate universe, the actor Peter Dinklage (best known as “The Half Man,” Tyrion Lannister on HBO’s Game of Thrones) was born decades earlier, allowing him to beat out Harrison Ford for the...
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How to tell you’re a nerd: Method 250 (or birthdays and blinking palms…)
As your thirtieth birthday approaches, you find yourself feeling grateful that you don’t live in the society depicted in the 1976 science fiction film Logan’s Run, in which all people living in a...
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How to tell you’re a nerd: Method 251 (or “Netflix, you don’t know me as well...
You have recently begun using the interactive recommendation program called “Max” on your Netflix streaming account, which suggests titles to watch by way of a programmed series of pithy voice-over...
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How to tell you’re a nerd: Method 252 (or “Not your daddy’s Robocop…”)
Upon seeing the trailer for the upcoming Robocop film, starring Joel Kinnaman of AMC’s crime drama The Killing, you are struck by one thing while sitting in that movie theater. It is not that this...
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How to tell you’re a nerd: Method 255 (or “The Secret Life of an Antarctic...
You anxiously await the upcoming holiday so that you might entertain (though most likely annoy) your relatives with tales of your fictional creation, Guraknok the Christmas Golem. Such tales involve an...
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